Trapped
by glassfromsand
Summary: Michael's missing. Who's going to find him? And when he-she-they find him, will they survive?
1. Missing and Annoyed

I don't own a thing, and I haven't watched the show that much, but I think it deals with the current story line of Michael being kidnapped by A.J.

Courtney stared up at the off-white ceiling and sighed. She tried to turn over, but the IV in her arm prevented her from moving. She looked at the clock: three more minutes. She looked at the IV: approximately twenty more drops.

She could do this. She had to do it. She wasn't ready to die.

The nurse came in with a cheery face and smiled warmly at Courtney.

"Do you have someone to drive you home?" She asked sweetly. Courtney nodded in response. She knew from prior experiences that if the nurse, Mrs. Abrams, found out she was driving herself home, she would take a lunch break and drive Courtney home herself.

She felt the IV slip out from under her skin, and she sat up immediately regretting it. Her head felt like it was floating, and her temples were pounding like a hammer would to get a bent nail to enter the wood.

She pulled her coat on slowly and stood up. She smiled again at Mrs. Abrams as the nurse took Courtney's arm and walked her to the elevator.

"I'll see you again next month," she said sweetly, like it was something that Courtney should look forward to.

Courtney entered the elevator and watched Mrs. Abrams turn away before the doors closed. She closed her eyes as she felt nauseous.

**Three Days Later**

She rolled over to her side and stared out the window through which the sun gleamed through. It was Sunday, the worst day. She used to love them, but now she hated them.

The phone rang for the fourth time that morning, and it was only eleven o'clock.

She just laid there and waited for her answering machine to pick up the call.

"I'm sorry I'm not able to come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you." The machine beeped, and Courtney rolled her eyes upon hearing the same voice again that morning. She flipped her pillow over her head in an effort to block out the droning voice. When she heard the machine beep again, she gracefully slipped out from the covers and into her bathroom.

She turned the knob in the shower until hot water was bursting from the shower head. She slipped out of her pink camisole, sweatpants, and underwear and into the water. She let it cascade down her body and cause Goosebumps over her skin. She picked her soaked hair from her back and laid it on her shoulder, so the water could hit her neck muscles. The burning water relaxed them, but she shortly tensed up again as she heard the phone ring again.

She quickly washed herself, and stepped out of the shower and into a Terri-cloth towel just in time to hear an incessant banging on her door. She wanted to climb out the window, but instead she made sure the door was locked and continued with her morning routine.

The banging eventually stopped as the annoying person on the other side eventually went away. Courtney walked into the kitchen and made some coffee. The answering machine light blinked endlessly, so she unwillingly relented to playing them.

"Courtney, It's Jax. I'm just calling about that call you got about Michael. Call me back." She cringed as she heard his voice and Michael's name. She would much rather be finding Michael by herself, but as this particular morning showed, Jax was a very insisting, consistent person. She stared at the blinding rock on her finger. She hated that ring. She would never tell him, but she hated it.

The ring wasn't her; it was too big. It overlapped her pinky and her middle fingers—way too big. Jason bought her a big ring but not that big. Jason knew her better than anyone including herself. Why was she thinking of him now as she was hearing the man that she's going to marry on her answer machine?

The meeting last night. She wanted to tell him about Michael, but she couldn't A.J. would kill her. A.J. trusted her, and they had a deal. Then, there was Jax trying to be the hero again, trying to impress her. It never worked. She just didn't have the heart to confront him. She didn't want to embarrass him because she knew if the roles were reversed, she would be utterly embarrassed.

She swallowed a mouth full of coffee, and went back into her bedroom. Today was the day. She was going to get her nephew without Jax, and then she was shopping.

She pulled on a pair of jeans and a white long-sleeved tee-shirt. She pulled her boots onto her feet and pulled her hair back into a messy bun. She grabbed her car keys and some gloves and headed out.

She only wanted to go shopping.

Shopping would have to wait.

She parked her car on the street adjacent to Harbor View Towers. She had to be sly. She had a plan, but she didn't know if the people in Harbor View Towers would follow it. After all, they didn't even know about it.

She stepped off the elevator and knocked on Penthouse Two. Sam opened the door. Perfect. Just as planned.

"Hello Sam. May I please speak with Jason? I have some papers for him concerning the business." Sam merely nodded. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want Courtney to see Jason let alone talk to him, but she didn't want to be rude either. They were after all supposed to be working together to find Michael. She could at least be civil.

She exited the room by means of the stairs.

Courtney breathed a sigh of relief. She was expecting Sam to run her mouth.

This was the hard part.

Courtney quietly walked over to the closet and opened it slowly to ensure that it would not creak. She pulled out a briefcase, closed the door, and quietly left the penthouse. She heard footsteps when she was in the hall, and she knew she didn't have a lot of time. She hit the button for the elevator.

"Come on," she whispered frantically. It opened, and she stepped on. She started to descend as she heard the penthouse door open. A sound that only her ear could hear.

There was one last complication.

Hopefully, Jason and/or Sam would not take the steps and find her walking out with one of Jason's briefcases.

The elevator doors opened as she took a deep breath. She peeked out and saw that neither Sam nor Jason were there…yet, at least. She quickly walked out of the building and got in her car.

She drove away as she tried to keep calm. Part one of her plan was done.

Her mistake was done.

As she drove towards her destination, she thought of one thing.

Security cameras, but she couldn't think of that now. She had to save her nephew. Not for her brother, but for her best friend.

Thanks Pureevil230 for the review. I'll give you a hint: you're right for two out of three things you wrote.

Just a little opener for y'all. I hope you like it, and I will definitely update soon so some things get clarified.


	2. Saving

Thanks for the reviews, and Suze, I totally agree about the ring. Jax's ring looks totally fake 'cause it's so huge. I'm sorry for the lack of updates. Things have been pretty busy around here. Enjoy.

She nervously brushed back another strand of her hair as she pulled into the parking lot.

"Come on, Court. You can do this." She kept repeating the words in her mind. She entered the B&B and sauntered to the front desk.

"Good afternoon," the red-haired woman said sweetly as Courtney just smiled.

Hiding her hands behind the desk, Courtney quickly slipped on her and Jason's wedding band and took Jax's ring off.

She placed her left hand on the desk.

"Good afternoon to you too," Courtney replied trying her best to lie, "My husband checked in a couple of days ago, and I'm supposed to meet him here. So could I have the key to the room?" Courtney felt her voice quiver and hoped that it wasn't noticeable.

"Sure, not a problem. The name?" She asked with her fake smile still plastered onto her face.

"Yes, A.J. Quartermaine." The receptionist nodded as she gave Courtney a room key.

"Room 2. Enjoy your stay." Courtney turned quickly fearing that the lady would figure her out.

She climbed the steps slowly. She didn't lie—well, technically. She was still married to A.J., since he wouldn't give her a divorce.

Hopefully, that was all about to change. It better anyway. She just spent five hours driving in a car to Aurora, New York—a place she had never heard of before now.

She knelt down outside of the door and quietly unbuckled the latches on the briefcase. She took out the silver gun and closed the briefcase as she hid the gun under her baggy tee-shirt.

She used the key she had previously retained and opened the door slowly and quietly.

Through the blindness of the million floral prints throughout the room and the wallpaper, she saw Michael. This may be easier than she thought.

She signaled to Michael to stay quiet as she made her way over to him. She kissed his forehead lightly before untying him.

"Go sit in my car and lock the doors. Okay, Michael?" Courtney asked as she handed Michael her keys. He nodded.

"Run," she whispered quickly, and he followed her orders.

There was still one more thing that needed to be done, and this was the part that she would have fun with.

She heard the familar sound of snoring as she looked over at the bed. She would play him alright.

She picked up the chair Michael was previously tied to and put it in the bathroom and closed the door. She then went back over to the bed and climbed on.

"Please let this work," she prayed underneath her breath.

She straddled A.J. as she turned his head and kissed him hard on the mouth, waking him up form his lazy slumber.

"Courtney," A.J. said with shock evident in his voice, "what are you doing?"

"Well, I can't marry anyone else, and I can't cheat on my husband, and everyone knows I can't be abstinent," she replied as she pinned A.J. beneath her. He grinned.

"It's working. Stay calm," she thought to herself.

She brought both of A.J.'s arms above his head and pinned them again with one of hers.

She brought her free hand to the button of her pants.

She pulled the gun, so A.J. could see it, and he froze.

She carefully stood up and took the silencer out. She put it on the nightstand as she got down from the bed.

"You're not going to shot me or anything else. You couldn't pull that trigger if you tried to," A.J. teased.

He saw pure hatred in her eyes, but he continued towards her anyway.

She pulled the divorce papers out of her pocket along with a pen.

"Sign them A.J., and no one gets hurt," her voice was calm. She knew she couldn't hurt him let alone kill him, but she couldn't let him know that.

A.J. laughed and smiled as he continued to approach her.

Her finger pulled, and she watched the bullet whiz across the room right into the pillow, stopping A.J. in his tracks.

"Sign the papers, A.J." Courtney's temper was rising along with her voice. He took the pen and signed.

Courtney studied the papers for a long time. She finally took them back into her pocket and tucked the gun back into her jeans.

She exited quickly and back to her car.

She wasn't as thorough as her brother or her ex-husband.

She wasn't as clean as they were.

But she was better than them.

Nothing stood between her and her family.

As she opened the door with her other set of keys, she felt light headed.

One thing would stand in her way.

She smiled at Michael as she locked the doors. She turned the ignition on and pulled out of the parking lot.

"You okay, buddy?" she asked as she glanced over at him.

"Thank you, Aunt Courtney," he said sweetly as he took her free hand.

"Can we get something to eat before you take me home?" he asked, "I haven't seen you lately, and I miss you."

As the car rolled to a stop at a red light, she looked over at her nephew.

She realized that her life could end at any moment, and she wasn't going to let her stubborn brother keep her from her nephew.

"As soon as we get to Port Charles, I'll take you back to the loft, and I'll make you something. We'll hang out for two hours before I call your parents. Okay?"

He nodded energetically and responded with some sadness in his voice, "Could you call Uncle Jason instead?"

She understood his unspoken reasoning. He didn't want Sonny to yell at her again for putting her own life in danger.

He was never grateful.

At least not verbally.


	3. Confusion

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, RunnerChickoltl, Kate, CrazyJay.

Sera: I totally agree (that's why I wrote it), and I don't believe Sonny will have the chance to yell at Courtney, again. Thanks.

Suze: Thanks a bunch. I don't know about perfect for those lines about Sonny never being grateful, but I'm glad you thought they were.

Enjoy.

P.S. This takes place three hours after last chapter.

After countless plates of pasta and garlic bread, Michael finally calmed down enough to the point where Courtney could convince him to take a shower.

She gave him some spare clothes that she had from Jason.

She sat on the sofa with Michael in her lap, his head resting on her shoulder.

"Aunt Courtney, I'm glad you're the one who found me," Michael confessed.

She smiled at him and kissed the crown of his head. Michael couldn't be a better kid.

"Would you mind if I slept in your bed? I feel really safe with you." Michael's soft voice touched her heart, and she abided to his wishes by carrying him to her bed and tucking him into it.

She stayed with him until he was asleep.

Then, she made more coffee as she picked up her cell phone.

Everything went as planned, but she wasn't supposed to want to keep him.

She dialed an all too familiar number. It was number one on her speed dial, but she knew the number so well that she could dial it just as fast.

She heard a husky voice on the other end, and her breath caught in her throat.

"Jason," she whispered in a small voice.

She didn't have much time to tell him what happened. In fact, she couldn't get a word out at all.

"Courtney, what were you thinking? You could have gotten yourself killed or worse even Michael. Did you ever think about.."

His voice kept going, but the banging on the door kept her from listening to it.

The last thing she heard was that they were all on their way over.

Who were they?

Who were coming?

She opened the door and found a nervous Carly. She grabbed Courtney hard and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Is he here?" Carly asked as tears trickled down her face, leaving a trail of unpainted skin with black marks.

"In the bedroom," Courtney said softly. Carly quickly went to her son and left Courtney awaiting her fate.

Courtney gulped down more of the coffee.

So much for shopping.

The door opened quickly as Jason, Sonny, and Sam appeared. "Great," Courtney thought, "more lectures."

"Courtney," Jason said quickly, "we have to get you out of the country,"

"No one's taking her anywhere without me." The Australian voice floated through the room as Jax entered, and Courtney felt herself cringe inside.

"Fine, Jax. Let's go." With Jason's words even more confusion clouded over Courtney's eyes. In seeing that Courtney was too shocked to fight back, Sonny went parading the loft looking for his son.

"What's going on?" Courtney asked obviously confused.

"I'll tell you on the plane," Jason responded quietly. He grabbed her upper arm gently and led her out of the building with Jax and Sam close behind. She noticed his gentleness with her. That was a good sign. Wasn't it?

He noticed her face. She was never a big make-up fan, but she was wearing more than normal but still not much. Instead of the natural colors over her eyes, she wore a darker olive green and black mascara and eye-liner.

She still managed to be the most beautiful person he's ever seen.

He just had to put his feelings aside for a couple of weeks until everything was straightened out.

He could do that.

Couldn't he?

Could she?

I know it was shorter, but I really wanted to give you something because you've been so awesome with reviewing. I'm sorry if it's confusing, butI promise to clear everything up. I hope you enjoyed.


	4. And Yet More Confusion

Thank you for all the lovely reviews. I'm so glad people like this story. I own nothing, by the way. Here's chapter four. Enjoy.

This chapter takes place a half an hour after the last one on one of Sonny's private jets.

She sat down in the familiar cushions as she shook her head.

"What's going on?" Courtney asked as anger rose in her eyes.

Jason sighed as he sat down next to her as Jax and Sam caught up with the ex-lovers and entered the plan.

"Did you watch the news at all today?" Jason asked quietly. He didn't know why he asked when he knew what her answer would be. She never watched television with the exception of Sunday night. She had convinced him once that the black box relaxed her and helped her clear her mind of all the stress of the last week before the new one began. Any spare time she had was spent reading or writing or even painting but never watching television.

Still, in response, Courtney shook her head no.

"Well," Jason began in a quiet voice, "You did a really good thing, getting Michael back and all, but since he was out of town, A.J. pulled of some story about how we kidnapped him."

Courtney closed her eyes.

"We?" she asked mutely.

"Yeah, me, you, Sonny, and Carly."

Jason's words stung her. She never meant for A.J. to have a backup plan.

"Could I have a moment alone with Jason?" Courtney asked quietly. She didn't know how either Jax or Sam would react, but she needed to tell him about their marriage. It was killing her inside; she had to tell someone, and anyone other than Jason would be disastrous.

"Why? So you can beg for forgiveness and get everything you want?" Sam's voice was critical, and Jason noticed the anger that was placed in Courtney's gaze.

"I don't expect anything from you or Jason," Courtney defended, but was cut off.

"Just leave Sam. You and Jax will be less than a paper-thin wall away." Jason's voice sounded tired to her, and she wondered if he was slightly tired of Sam.

Jax and Sam reluctantly left to the adjoining room as Jason sat down again. Courtney sighed as she leaned forward and covered her face with her hands.

"I'm so sorry, Jase," Courtney said softly. Jason could barely hear the words, and when he did, he wondered if he heard correctly.

"For what?" It was his turn to be confused.

"Everything," Courtney sighed again before leaning back into the plush cushions. "I didn't mean to drag you into it, but I couldn't stand to see another person torn apart."

"Don't be sorry. You, ya know, saved Michael." Jason's voice was low, and the occupants of the adjacent room were trying to hear what he said, but failed.

"But now we're on the run, and I'm sure Sam's not happy about that." Courtney's voice sounded concerned for the woman who has never said a nice word to her.

"What about Jax?" Again, his voice was low, but he had to know the answer. Did she really love Jax? He remembered that on the anniversary of the miscarriage she said that she was using Jax because she was so lonely, but that couldn't be the case now. They were getting married, and Jason was out of the picture.

"What about him? He's Jax." Her voice sounded cold, and Jason's heart went out to her.

She never got to tell him about their marriage or lack there of.

Sonny walked in and nodded at the couple's presence in the room.

"Sam's not coming," Sonny stated firmly. Neither person had a chance to respond as a whiney Sam was taken out of the plane by force.

Then, the plane took off.

Sonny, Courtney, Jason, and Jax.

Things could get pretty ugly.

In fact, they were about to.

My chapters seem to keep getting shorter, but I want to give you something. I'm really busy, so I'll try to get a longer chapter out this weekend after getting a shorter one posted Thursday or Friday. I hope you enjoyed.


	5. There Was Just Something About Her

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. They were touching and inspiring. Thanks again. Enjoy.

Jason shook her shoulders slightly, and she finally started to wake. The long ride had given Jason plenty of time to reminisce about their marriage. It also gave him time to really look at her.

First, he noticed the bags under her eyes. She was exhausted, and the lack of concealer showed it, but she still looked beautiful. Her tiny little nose fit perfectly on her face, and her plump lips were parted slightly as she breathed. Her now light brown hair would fall into her face, and he wanted to reach out and push it behind her ear. Just like the old days.

Except, it wasn't.

Jax was sitting next to her, reading some business magazine. He looked back at Courtney, and noticed her ring.

He had never seen the ring that Jax had given her, but it just couldn't be the same sapphire on he gave her.

Something wasn't right.

He felt it in his bones.

Something big was going to happen.

He felt it in his bones.

He just didn't know what it was.

He succeeded in waking her as Jax looked on un-improvingly. She sighed as she opened her eyes and was face-to-face with the man she had loved.

"We're here," Jason whispered. She nodded in response as she stood and remembered Jax and Sonny. She tried to smile as the day's events were haunting her, but she couldn't. She was stuck in wherever she was with her ex-brother and ex-husband and their enemy, the man she was going to marry.

Things were going to be tight.

She followed the men out of the plane and into an ancient castle. From the looks of it, they were in Ireland, an interesting choice since Sonny wasn't Irish.

"I'll show you two to your rooms," Sonny said finally, breaking the silence while Jason watched Courtney exit with her new lover.

Why wasn't that him? He still loved her and all, so why were they apart? Well, whatever the reason, it was too late now. She had moved on and so had he.

Sam. The woman he loved. Lately, he was becoming more and more annoyed with her. Sonny had a plan, though. He always did.

Jason had confessed to Sonny earlier in the week that he had simply loved her because she was the complete opposite of Courteny. In fact, he didn't love her. He just loved the idea of being in love again and feeling the same way he felt with Courtney, but who was he kidding? He definitely didn't feel that way with Sam.

So, Sonny came up with one of his brilliant plans which consisted of using Sam to their advantage when the time came. Mean? Yes. Necessary? Yes. Jason's approval? No.

She knew it was coming, too. Carly had warned her. So, it wasn't totally mean. It was just like she was another person working for Sonny, except Sonny would never pay her for whining so much.

Why Sam was still in Port Charles, Jason didn't know. He wasn't filled in about this part of the plan.

He maneuvered around various pieces of furniture as he made his way to his bedroom.

He could hear her voice; she was in the adjacent, joining bedroom.

"I can take care of myself, you know." Her voice came through the wall a little muffled but audible.

"I don't trust you." His voice came through with the same clarity.

"Then, why are you marrying me?" Courtney's voice was smooth and calm, but Jason could almost hear the frustration and the confusion that must be playing in her eyes.

"Because I love you," Jax said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Jason closed his eyes for a moment. If he was Jax, he would do anything for Courtney, anything she wanted, just so she wouldn't leave him.

"Jax stop," Courtney demanded to the kisses Jax was smothering her neck with, "You know I don't love you back." Her voice was still smooth, but again, Jason could hear the coldness that was being displayed in her eyes.

Even though he wasn't in the same room as her, he could read her. She had always told him everything. She was close to him like that, and he would tell her everything, too, except for the business.

"I know, but you'll learn," Jax said with confidence dripping from his too sweet voice.

Jason could her Courtney sigh and the bed creak as she sat on it.

"Do you still love him?" The question came from Jax's mouth like Niagra Falls: forceful and dangerous.

Jason didn't know if he wanted to hear the answer, but he knew he shouldn't be listening to their fight.

"We've been over this before," Courtney said, her voice still calm. She had a way about her that she would never let her feelings reflect in her composure or her voice.

There was just something about her.

There was just something about her and Jax.

Jason just couldn't figure it out, yet.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm so sorry for the lack of updates. I've been getting busier. Thank you for all the wonderfully inspiring reviews, and next chapter, I will identify and thank you all by name. Enjoy.

Jax had left. Courtney had no clue where he was, and frankly, she didn't care—not now. She ventured into the kitchen and sat sipping out her now cold coffee.

She had been up all night. She wasn't even in her pajamas yet. She would often stay up late and then get up early. That's how she was. She cared about to many things to just sleep. If it wasn't necessary, she wouldn't do it at all.

She really needed to take a shower. She felt dirty and used and abused and everything else under the sun.

She walked back to her room as quiet as possible and slipped out of her clothes. She took her hair out and glided into the shower. She let the hot water relax her neck muscles once again.

She closed her eyes. She wanted to make everything go away. She just wanted to be happy, but, obviously, that was too much to ask for.

She turned the water off and slipped into a robe. She twisted her hair to get the water out of it and pulled it back into a messy bun. The clock in the bathroom said it was four thirty, so she decided to just stay up instead of trying to get sleep that would not come.

She pulled a pair of jeans and a polo shirt out of the drawer and put them on. Sonny had probably gotten everything stocked up before they came.

After she dressed, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was a stranger—even to herself. Dark bags encircled her eyes which looked like glass. She noticed an appearing blemish on the side of her cheek from all the stress. Then, there were the clothes. She had never worn anything tight, except for the time she had to strip, but otherwise, she despised tight clothes. Here she was, standing in one of those tight polo shirts.

A sigh escaped her lips. They were chapped, and she knew that if she went out into hot or cold weather, they would bleed.

Things had changed. Some were for the better, others for the worst.

A soft knock grabbed her from her thoughts. She walked over to the door and opened it.

"Hey, Aunt Courtney," Michael said cheerfully as he hugged her.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Courtney asked.

"I wanted to come see Dad, so he let me come," Michael explained. "Are you coming to dinner with us tonight?"

"I don't know," Courtney replied hesitantly.

"Come on. You have to come." Michael's voice was full of excitement, and Courtney knew at that moment that she would go to dinner with them, for Michael.

"Michael," Carly interrupted, "I told you not to wake Courtney."

"It's fine. I was already up, and it was good to see him again." Courtney's voice had something resembling happiness in her voice, but Carly noticed that there was something else.

"We need to go shopping. You don't have any cocktail dresses with you here; do you? We're going to eat dinner tonight at the _Pathétique._ You're into music and stuff so you'll love it." Carly kept on rambling, asking questions without letting Courtney answer them, and Courtney only rolled her eyes.

Tonight was going to be more than awkward for Courtney.

Short: yes. I'm sorry, but I really want to get to the dinner, and I really didn't know where to go from here. Hopefully, another update will be out by tonight.


	7. Chapter 7

Jason and Sonny sat at a corner table at the _Pathétique_ waiting for Courtney and Carly to come. Michael had pretended to be sick due to his mother's wishes. Her plan was going smoothly…so far.

"I sent Jax back to Sam; he wanted to go back to Port Charles, something about unfinished business," Sonny informed Jason as he tried to break the uncomfortable silence. It only made Jason look more distracted. He sat there sipping at the champagne in front of him. It was going to be a long night, and he needed alcohol to help him get through it. He would prefer a beer, but right know he would take anything he could get.

Carly walked in a few moments later with Courtney close behind her.

"Sorry we're late. Michael wasn't feeling well, but we decided to just eat anyway." Carly's voice was hiding something and only Courtney noticed.

When Carly told her Michael was sick, Courtney didn't want to come. So when Carly persisted, Courtney knew Carly was up to something. She just didn't know what.

Sonny just nodded to Carly's response as Jason merely sat there, looking at Courtney. She looked amazing; she always did. Her hair was down with soft curls outlining her face. Her dress was long sleeves and was cut into a v-shape; it stopped above her knee, and showed her perfect, long legs that _estaron de pie _on strappy black heels.

She was perfect, self-conscience but perfect. He noticed that the blinding rock she wore on her finger earlier in the day was not there.

Her make-up was _au naturale_: her eyes were covered with a light champagne color, her lips were slightly glossed over, and her eyes were as clear as ever.

Her dress was more than perfect. Courtney was the only one that Jason knew that could pull off an all black dress. She had added a gold shawl which went along well with her look of perfection.

The smile that graced her lips made his heart flutter a little and made his stomach do flip-flops.

She sat down next to him, and he could smell her citrus-floral perfume. She was tom-boyish, but not. She could be anything she wanted to be. Although she didn't believe that, Jason sure as hell did.

Her legs were still sculpted as were her arms, and Jason found himself wondering if she still worked out every morning like she used to do. He didn't work out anymore. He had lost his will.

They all ordered. She ordered the chicken parmesan; although she hated chicken, she loved chicken parm.

Carly and Sonny easily covered the awkwardness between the four of them with their incessant chatter, well, Carly anyway.

Unexpectedly, Carly had entered Jason into the conversation as Courtney quietly observed. She felt out of place and invisible.

She cleared her throat lightly.

"I'm going to get going I don't feel so well," Courtney stated after they finished eating dinner, "I should check on Michael too."

It was her first words all night, and everyone was too shocked to say anything, so she easily slipped away from them. From Jason.

During the ride to the house, Courtney felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. She wouldn't cry. She had to be strong.

She stared out the window and let her thoughts drift to everything. She thought about her first boyfriend, how he cheated and crushed her heart, how after that she never let anyone get near her, how A.J. used her and she used him for her own security. She didn't even know if she ever loved him. It was just one of those paradoxical occurrences. She loved to feel loved, or she loved the thought of being married. After that, thought, she was in love, and she knew it. She would do anything for Jason, and she felt like she owed him her life. That's how she knew it was love, even before the accident.

The only other person she loved was her best friend. She didn't even love her parents. That's why she felt like she didn't deserve love, and then, after the miscarriage, she felt like she didn't deserve love even more. That's why she left.

Sure, Jason was in the mob and all, but he was the sweetest person she'd ever meet, and he wasn't like most guys.

For example, after sex, he would just hold her while A.J. and Jax and other boyfriends just rolled over and went to sleep.

She didn't deserve him or love. She constantly lied when she was younger. Her mother and even her father told her she was too stupid, too fat, too girly, or too tom-boyish. Her parents were never happy with her. She was never happy with herself.

Then, there was the secret that she kept hidden from everyone. She didn't mean for it to be a secret; it just never came up in the conversations.

She parked the car and entered the house; she went straight for Michael's room. She needed to cheer up right about now.

Michael could always make her feel better or at least make her pretend that she felt better.

Okay, I know I changed Courtney's childhood, so please bear with me. I left a little bit of a cliff-hanger, but I'm sure no one will miss me or the story or my writing that much. I'll probably update tonight or tomorrow or Saturday, really this time. I hope you enjoyed.


	8. Confessions

Courtney finally found the strength to push him away, at least his lips. His arms were still encircled around her waist, but she needed to talk to him.


End file.
